Archive for January, 2008

Jan 31 2008

Posted by under Feel Good

Hugs

A Hug Certificate for You!

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you’re feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I’m finding
Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who’s always there.

This is a Hug Certificate!!

Send One to All Your Friends (or family) Who You Think Deserve A Hug
(Which, Hopefully Includes the Person Who Sent It to You).

You might send it to your enemies as well!
It’ll really tic them off!

If you receive this back 2 times … You’re off to a good start,
Unless you sent it to yourself. That’s cheating!

If you receive this back 3 times. You’re a good friend.

If you receive this back 4 times …. You are popular I wanna be just like you.

If you receive this back 5 times or more, there are angels watching over you….

THANK YOU,

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Jan 30 2008

Posted by under Humor

….. so I did her!

One day I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said, "I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"

"I smoke ten stogies a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big fat joint.  All my life I’ve eaten only junk food, and I put away at least a fifth of Jack Daniels every week.  On weekends I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all."   

Absolutely, absolutely amazing, I thought, and asked, "How old are you?" 

 

 "Twenty-four," she replied.

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Jan 29 2008

Posted by under Reality

Company’s coming

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she replied. "He’s out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"  The woman went out and invited the men in."

"We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don’t we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter’s advice," said the husband to his wife.  "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!! !"

MY WISH FOR YOU…

 – Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.

 – Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.

 – Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.

 – Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

You have two choices right now:

    1. Delete this email.

    2. Invite love by sharing this story with all  the people you care about.

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Jan 28 2008

Posted by under Humor,Tests

Sylvester catches Tweety

Watch this until Sylvester catches Tweety..(wait for it. It’s worth it)… After Tweety is caught, scroll down…


  
  

 

   
  
 

 

 

 

 

 


This was an idiot test. How long did you watch?

0-2 seconds       –           there’s hope for you
2-5 seconds       –           having a bad day?
5-10 seconds     –           are you maybe just a slow reader?
10-20 seconds   –           remedial classes are nothing to be ashamed of
20-30 seconds   –           it is recommended that you don’t breed.
30 sec-1 min     –           you probably can’t read this anyway. So why bother?
1-2 min             –           the equivalent of the average house plant
2-5 min             –           Good afternoon Jessica Simpson
 
5 min -1 hr         –           Dead people score in this range
1hr plus            –           congratulations. You have! a negative IQ. To find out what your prize is, watch bugs until he finishes his carrot…

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