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Jan 21 2008 09:59 am

Posted by under Reality

2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had
syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in
college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C

He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Decide first… no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading..

Remember:

Amateurs…built the ark.
Professionals…built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more
than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year…

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to
keep the rest of us in line.

You gotta pass this on….2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

 





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46 Comments »

46 Responses to “2 TOUGH QUESTIONS”

  1. Aaron Wakling on 21 Jan 2008 at 10:15 am #

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you.

  2. Logic on 19 Mar 2008 at 3:06 am #

    “amateurs” built the ark???

    WHAT ARK?

    give me a break.

  3. innes on 18 Sep 2008 at 2:14 pm #

    that was horrible.
    go away (:

  4. Cabby on 18 Sep 2008 at 3:20 pm #

    I’m not entirely sure why I’m bothering to respond to this, but in a desperate attempt to stem the tide of Internet mis-information, I’d just like to initally point you to http://www.snopes.com/glurge/twoquestions.asp and http://www.snopes.com/politics/crime/congress.asp .

    The internet shows us time and again that information can be distorted, created or selectively quoted to support any particular world view, particularly when presented in a sound-bite format such as the one above, which has no doubt ended up in the email in-boxes of thousands of people, many of whom will just blindly accept the facts as presented while doing no further research whatsoever.

    Please, please, please, when you see anything like this, don’t just believe it out of hand, do some research (even on the Internet if you must! sites like Snopes are more credible than some) but don’t just assume that it’s true. Find out the facts independently and then make up your own mind.

    Oh, and to inject a bit of personal bias, there was no ark, and the failure of the Titanic had nothing to do with bad construction, just poor judgement on the part of her crew having been misled into believing she was unsinkable, presumably because they’d just read it somewhere and hadn’t checked for themselves…

  5. Deedy on 18 Sep 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    Um, Cabby.
    If you must wax self-righteous, then please remove the beam from your own eye.
    And do your homework.
    The Titanic sank because once the hull was breached, the water filled compartment after adjoining compartment; filling one, then spilling into the next. Why? Because the engineers who designed it DIDN’T BUILD PARTITIONS THAT ACTUALLY REACHED THE CEILING OF EACH COMPARTMENT which would have made them watertight, and contained the damage to one or two compartments . . . which would not have been enough to sink the ship.
    Sheesh.

    Oh. And, the ark?
    Actually, archeologists . . .
    Never mind.

  6. Teresa on 18 Sep 2008 at 10:55 pm #

    Cabbie, you are my new hero.

  7. Cabby is God on 19 Sep 2008 at 1:12 am #

    Wow…Cabby…My sweet baby Jesus… you fucking rule dude. That last sentence alone was unfreakin’ believable. I would also like to point out the fact that the problem with this article is that it depends alot on the readers values. I would kill the shit out of Beethoven, and I would totally have gone with Winston Churchill man. Shit I’m drunk. You rule cabby… I want to have your kids.

  8. Cabby on 19 Sep 2008 at 2:35 am #

    Deedy,

    Might I suggest that had the Titanic not been blindly sailed into an iceberg field in a futile attempt to break the trans-Atlantic crossing record and had her crew used the observation tools which had been provided correctly, then she wouldn’t have hit an iceberg in the first place?

    There are other considerations to boat design: passengers need to be able to get around inside the boat and wouldn’t have taken kindly to having to keep going up and down stairs to get around each bulkhead. Below the waterline the bulkheads were indeed watertight and the ship exceeded the relevant maritime safety requirements.
    It was perfectly fair to say that the Titanic was and engineering marvel of its time, but everything has its limits, no matter how well engineered. I doubt the ark would have survived an iceberg collision ;-)

    Incidentally, there are some pictures of the watertight doors used at http://www.titanic-titanic.com/titanic_watertight_compartments.shtml

    But don’t just blindly believe anything I say either! I’m no maritime engineer.

  9. Tim on 19 Nov 2008 at 10:54 pm #

    Too bad the Ark is fictional.

  10. Sean on 20 Nov 2008 at 12:16 am #

    The first question is irrelevant and the second is pretty well known by now thanks to billions of “did you know” type posts like this.

    As for more on the first one, yes that woman would have kept having kids until it killed her; back in that day you tried until you had enough to be sure of at least one or a few of your offspring’s survival. Did you just think they considered the vagina a penis warmer? It’s irrelevant now because over-population is the cause of the wide spread hunger and energy crisis. Today she should have aborted the next 7 after receiving the chromosome check in utero.

  11. Uneducated ijits on 04 Feb 2009 at 9:28 am #

    To bad that the ark is real and they found it in turkey up on a mountain frozen in ice.

  12. Chad on 04 Feb 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    Wow…
    Remember all, The Titanic was a horrible disaster
    The Ark was just a fake story.

  13. Goron40 on 04 Feb 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    Nothing like a dead stumble. Ok, I’ll bite.

    1. The woman is obviously a hotspot for genetic mutations. The fact that she got one good mutation after 8 bad ones would not have changed my advice.

    2. I generally vote for someone by their political policies as opposed to shit that doesn’t matter in the slightest, like the things you have listed there. So I would have abstained from voting.

    3. The Ark. Pix or it didn’t happen. And let’s say I adopt your religion for a second. There’s no way an old man could have built a giant boat by himself. So let’s say for the sake of argument, that he had “God” on his side, helping him to construct such a massive ship. Are you referring to God as an amateur?

    Regardless, I don’t believe that the ark (at least in the way the bible portrays it) ever existed.

    4. Hey wow! Since they’re all getting caught for these crimes, their laws must be working, huh? Good thing.

  14. A on 04 Feb 2009 at 12:52 pm #

    Yeah – I killed Beethoven and voted for Hitler simply because of the attributes given.

    People are defined by their character and actions they take – not by a few characteristics that say nothing about how they were raisd, how they behave, what kind of education they went through etc. etc. etc….

    That list is old and stupid and not ‘interesting’ … If given diferent facts that would not have been a biased selection (pointing out the good attributes of Hitler and the bad attributes of Roosevelt and Churchill). Would you have chosen differently? Is that interesting?

    StumbleUpon thumb down.

  15. Anonymous on 04 Feb 2009 at 3:45 pm #

    There are several problems with this post.
    The problem with the first question is that the choice for abortion is still completely logical and well-reasoned. Since there is no way to tell that the child will be a musical genius. Beethoven, by the way, was highly asocial and went deaf. This is a perfect example of the crap “pro-life” activists throw around all the time.

    The problem with the second question is that YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE THIRD CANDIDATE WANTS TO KILL ALL THE JEWS, TAKE OVER THE WORLD, AND BELIEVES THAT GERMANS ARE SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHER RACES. Seriously. You can’t just make arguments like that. I quote xkcd #169, “Communicating badly and then acting smug when you’re misunderstood is not cleverness.”

    The third and fourth issues have been addressed by Cabby.

    I’d like to tell you a story about a similar situation that caused me to have a life-changing epiphany. It all starts out in West Philadelphia, where I was born and raised.
    As I recall, the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool, And all shootin’ some b-ball outside of school. When a couple of guys (Who were up to no good), started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’.

  16. Dylan on 05 Feb 2009 at 1:51 am #

    Let me just start this off by saying that I am not religious at all. But I am logical, and until something is proven to me, I don’t think either way of it.

    So in light of that, I’m not really sure where all the anti-religious bigotry came from in the replies to this post, but to those of you that are saying that the ark was a lie… or a story… or fictional, you are just as bad if not worse than the religious buffs out there that try to feed me the stories of it being real! Nobody has proof either way! And no matter how intelligent you try to make yourself sound, anybody with half a brain reading these will realize that you are just as much full of shit as the people who DO believe beyond the shadow of a doubt. The only difference is that they believe in something that has a potential of making lives better.

    So what if it may not be real? Religion contradicts itself all the time. That doesn’t mean it’s going away, so learn to deal with it. Not every post has to be a bash fest when the comments come around. Just accept it for what it is supposed to be. Thought provoking for those who haven’t seen it before and a chuckle to those who realize the truth behind what is being said.

    Goodnight.

  17. Uncle B on 05 Feb 2009 at 10:03 am #

    Ho! Ho! Ho! is the (GRD) great republican depression going to play with your minds! You might suspect that big business has had its way with you, and you probably realize the car companies have, but you have no idea the paradigm shifts that lay before you, dear sweet unsuspecting children of the Americas! The truths of your very existence are about to be slammed into your faces after having been hid from you by subterfuge as found in this very test! Your asses will be reamed by this kind of sales-talk logic and your minds will be mushed by warped and weighted presentations of the facts in similar kind, You will be pummeled to the earth, fed your own feces and beg for more, victim of vicious trickery that steals your first-borne, to trade for Middle Eastern oil! When the shylocks and shysters of Wall Street use this logic, and some bullshit to baffle you with, you will willingly give up your life’s savings and feel it was fair! All is fair in love war and screwing the Americans, ground rules to live by, and remember, never give a sucker an even break, and a new sucker is born every minute! Basic business rules to live by in the eye for an eye world we have always lived in! Even President Bush couldn’t get it right, but here is the base rule of all rules to live by – “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME! Assholes! assholes! assholes! We have lost our country to big business and world capitalism by simple manipulations of the English language!

  18. Comrade Ampersand on 18 Feb 2009 at 9:28 am #

    Okay, Dylan. Just because there is no evidence either way in the case of Noah’s Ark doesn’t mean you can’t judge based on logic. When was the last time you saw a boat big enough to fit a few of each animal in the world in it. O yeah I forgot to mention that it happened somewhere near the beginning of time. Disbelieving in something that is sensational with no evidence to back it up is not ignorant or stupid in any way. The burden of proof lies with the one making the ridiculous claims (giant boat built by bearded old [really really old] dude) not the ones saying that this is unreasonable. Much like the flying spaghetti monster or Russell’s Teapot just because something MAY be true doesn’t make the probability of being true 50% either way. Just because I say there is an invisible, flying, intelligent, mind reading, super-bear flying just over your shoulder and reading everything you did doesn’t mean you should, or do, take this claim with any seriousness. Try being more logical next time buddy.

  19. John on 18 Feb 2009 at 1:32 pm #

    all of yall are retard. Liberal atheist are some really weird people – usually the ones asking for money and begging for help. Christian Republicans – well the pretty much fuel our work force, military and everything important in the world.

    and by the way, they ark was real. Its impossible to have an argument with a non-believer though. Soon as someone bring up the bible, they dont know what to do

  20. Waffles on 18 Feb 2009 at 3:53 pm #

    Actually cabby, the reason that the titanic sank was the captain ordered the crew to stop the engines and try to reverse in an attempt to clear the iceberg easier. Had the captain just blown straight through it as you claim he tried, the Titanic would have cleared it without a problem.

  21. Sam on 18 Feb 2009 at 5:21 pm #

    Deedy, you’re a fucking retard. Check your facts. The Titanic sunk because 6 hulls where breached, hence 6 hulls flooded. You fucking moron.

  22. stoner on 18 Feb 2009 at 6:06 pm #

    who really gives a rat’s ass about any of those questions? all are hypothetical, thus, as real or unreal as the ark. which i DO believe was built buy a very, very, very old man in response to a warning he got from another very, very, very, very old Man (Being).

  23. Chris on 18 Feb 2009 at 8:22 pm #

    On the subject of the ark: neither argument is really valid in the sense of “logic.” Ultimately, really, the question is “God exists or not?” in disguise. Cases that defend the existence of the Ark assume that God exists. If so, it is certainly “provable.” Cases that oppose the Ark assume that God doesn’t exist, again making the argument “provable.” That means that for you Christians, you cannot base the existence of the Ark on the grounds that God exists, because those you are trying to persuade is already assuming the opposite. For you atheists, you cannot disprove the existence of the Ark by using “logical” statements (like how can one man build an ark, how can two of all of the countless billions of species fit in it, etc.) Again, because your target audience already assumes God exists, if you consider the case under their assumption, the existence of God renders any “logically impossible” arguments meaningless. Because the key point here is faith, there is no point arguing. No one will ever change their mind.

    Tl;dr – The debate of the ark is, by definition, moot. You’re beating a horse that doesn’t exist.

    Oh, and I was under the impression that the Titanic sank because it attempted to avoid the iceberg, causing it to scrape the side of the ship, and opening too many compartments to water. If it had just plowed straight through, it would have survived with enough compartments intact. My information may be inaccurate, though, so meh.

  24. Jon on 19 Feb 2009 at 1:00 am #

    Leave it to all you people to turn this into a wall-of-text debate.

  25. Rob on 24 Feb 2009 at 1:03 am #

    tl;dr the entire thing
    minor correction on the ships: the irish built the titanic, and a jew built the ark. coincidence… perhaps.

  26. James Martin on 09 Mar 2009 at 7:41 am #

    Boy, that is one slanted, Christian-crap, loaded neoconservative “quiz”.

    Let me ask you this: If God can do anything why doesn’t he heal amputees?

  27. Chris on 20 Mar 2009 at 6:45 pm #

    Wow people, lighten up. I can’t believe how fueled people can get whenever someone points out religion. I read the ark part a few times to see if i missed something, but i don’t believe i did. You guys make it sound like he said “God is so amazing and awesome and he created a great boat with Noah because he is real and true and awesome, because he is so real…and professional built the titanic.”

    Grow up everyone…

  28. anon on 03 May 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    photoshopped definitely.

  29. Latex Santa on 06 May 2009 at 4:35 pm #

    Hmmm….so let me get this straight: you believe some old guy made a boat big enough to hold EVERY ANIMAL? Including those who can only survive in their chosen habitats? Right. Of course, with just Noah and his family on board, that would make us all inbred. Yay (or does that explain why all of Texas is Christian?)! Oh and John, what they do is laugh and point out that just because a book is old and of questionable origin doesn’t mean you worship it. Don’t forget that the military your “Christian workforce” kills non-believers because they think the same way you do about a different book…

  30. Wozzy on 06 May 2009 at 9:05 pm #

    Dudes, chill the fuck down. This is just meant to make You see things in a different light, not force You to become Christian. Honestly, more than half of You read “ARK” and decided to put in Your (non)religious input. You wanna know something? We don’t fuckin’ care!
    Seriously.

  31. yes on 13 May 2009 at 12:44 am #

    HAHA i picked B and No

  32. anon on 13 May 2009 at 7:15 am #

    Is Noah died?

  33. Andrew on 13 May 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    you will believe in hell when you get there.

  34. Iain on 14 May 2009 at 11:28 am #

    Andrew, I’m already there, and it is this web page.

  35. Liz on 14 May 2009 at 4:56 pm #

    This is funny, I totally picked candidate B. Canidate C sounded like a Republican. Suck it all of you losers who picked Hitler, Churchill and I are going to get a handle of turkey.

  36. Anonymous on 14 May 2009 at 5:28 pm #

    About the ark (“yes”, it has been mentioned before, “yes”, I know that some people don’t care, and “yes”, I know that someone has “refuted” what I’m going to say by simply claiming they found it somewhere): the thing isn’t real. The flood didn’t happen (a grand event like that would have left its marks, ask any geologist – oh no, wait, god wiped all of the evidence of course, I forgot, just like he put fossils in the ground and made them look millions of years old).

    Do you really think (sorry, “believe”) every animal lived in walking distance of Noah’s house (http://www.pleaselink.me/_/myconfinedspace/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/biblenoah.jpg)? *Sigh*… I could talk about fossils, carbon dating etc., but it would be a waste of time – uneducated and highly indoctrinated religious morons are simply not willing to see the truth – they want to believe.

    The following comment by John really made my day, by the way:

    “…and by the way, they ark was real. Its impossible to have an argument with a non-believer though. Soon as someone bring up the bible, they dont know what to do…”

    The ark was real? Give me proof that stands up to scientific scrutiny and I WILL believe you. Oh yeah, that’s right, you can’t. You guys can only claim that some piece of wood that someone found somewhere must have been (part of) the ark because… Well, because you and other believers “just say so”, of course.

    And a lot of atheists point out contradictions in the bible all the time, John. They also try to make you see – using this strange thing called “logic” – that claiming that the bible tells the truth and/or is the word of god because the bible itself says so is circular reasoning and hence a fallacious argument. It’s religious morons like you that are simply unwilling to listen whenever this happens (http://scottklarr.com/media/atheism/creationistPosterFull.png).

    Just don’t talk about not being able to have an argument and/or discussion with a non-believer, OK? If you can’t bring reason, logic, science, and proof (you know, all of these things that are actually really important when trying to convince someone of something) to the table when having an argument, then don’t even bother; we’re not interested in your dogma, your yelling, and your unreasonable faith.

  37. anon on 15 May 2009 at 6:03 am #

    Maybe if I write a book about a mystical being that created all of the universe we see before us, people thousands of years from now will believe it and strike up huge wars claiming it to be real against those who claim it isnt real, those who believe in only certain parts, and those who have taken certain parts and changed their meaning completly. I should get working on that.

  38. Anon on 16 May 2009 at 4:32 am #

    What amazes me the most about the comments is that, upon reading it, people latch onto the Ark and need to say “LOL! NO GOD! LOL!” over and over and over again.

    To give some food for thought to the numerous idiots on that: greater statements require greater proof. Having made a statement that goes against knowledge since the dawn of civilization, puts the burden of proof on the claimant. You’re not automatically right just because you’ve made a negative statement that can’t be proven.

    I won’t be stupid though. I thought the whole point of the site was to have the e-mails, not claim truth to them. It’s very amusing, albeit in serious need of fact checking… but that’s because it’s a chain e-mail. If you only want truth, go to Snopes.

  39. chris on 16 May 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    This whole thing is pointless…is the message not “Don’t Judge”? After saying that They promptly judge 500 people…I sense a contradiction.

  40. asliuf on 16 May 2009 at 8:31 pm #

    The Beethoven anecdote is false. Beethoven was his mothers eldest surviving child.

    No one built “the ark” because “the ark” never existed.

    Why should I believe any of the rest of this crap?

    Do us a favor and don’t reproduce lies like this.

  41. Zach on 16 May 2009 at 11:26 pm #

    The wealth of historical evidence suggesting the truth of biblical events is staggering. It is one of the greatest pieces of collected middle eastern ancient history that we have.

  42. liddle bum on 17 May 2009 at 1:44 am #

    wow. religious debaters, internet trolls, stubborn assholes, and idiots all in one little thread. and i bet after i make this comment, some grammar obsessed soccer-mom is going to give me a four paragraph lecture on how i should have capitalized my sentences. and these people who list billions of reasons why they think this and why they think that. comment boxes are made to comment on the item displayed above. they aren’t for political debate or religious debate. if you want to argue about the topics that most piss people off, go write a blog. the fact that you gave numerous facts about a subject that has barely anything to do with the item above does not mean that people will take the time to read your shit and change their lives. people usually ignore the comment, click the “don’t show me more like this button”, and then stumble again. nobody gives two shits about your opinion. SHUT THE HELL UP.

  43. liddle bum on 17 May 2009 at 1:45 am #

    aw, goddammit, i made a fucking huge paragraph.

  44. Max on 18 May 2009 at 5:25 am #

    It’s always amusing when people with strong religious beliefs post their thoughts on the internet – using technology brought to us by the science they refuse to believe in. Seriously people, isn’t it about time we as humans grew up and stopped clinging onto and believing poorly written, bigoted historical texts written by people that though the earth was flat and the center of the universe, had no concept of zero in mathematics, thought disease was caused by sin, etc. etc.?

    The story of the ark isn’t even a good story in a metaphorical sense but believing in its literal truth shows such a disturbing lack of logical reasoning it’s staggering. Next thing you know the same people will try to convince you that snakes can talk, o wait..

    To liddle bum: You should take your own advice written in caps, you are a total hypocrite.

  45. popsicle sticks on 30 May 2009 at 8:14 pm #

    i love you and think your comments are wonderful!

  46. ed on 12 Jul 2009 at 5:16 am #

    im prett sure beethoven became deaf as well so just because he learned to play some shit tunes on the piano doesnt mean he shouldnt have been aborted like the rest of his family should have been and winston churchill was a war hero as well but you failed to mention that

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