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Feb 09 2008 11:16 pm

Posted by under Humor,Reality

things to think about

Philosophy

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, b ut it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licens e.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*



Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short

 





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1 Comment »

One Response to “things to think about”

  1. Kathy TeStrake on 16 Feb 2011 at 4:06 pm #

    I “stumbled upon” your website, looking for humor and I have been back over and over again! You have the best humor website I’ve ever seen and you should be so proud! With all the troubles facing the world, my heart nearly breaks at times. I worry until I’m almost sick, so I look for humor to get me through these tough times. I can’t tell you how hard it is to find humor that’s decent, edgy and truly funny without being sexually explicit!
    Thank you a million for this work, you have no idea how much it helps!

    Sincerely,

    Kathy T.

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