Feb 25 2008 07:32 pm
Posted by Grandson under Humor, Reality
NOW WE KNOW!!
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give
you a twenty-year life span.’
The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the Dog did?’
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you
twenty years.’
But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it
as a public service.
RateMyLeftArm.com on 05 Mar 2008 at 2:32 pm #
LOL.
Mikw on 05 Mar 2008 at 2:51 pm #
Very good.
Ken on 05 Mar 2008 at 8:06 pm #
Hmm.. this seems mostly accurate. however there are a few exemptions. For example, what if i win the lottery? and people who write poetry work indoors and they dont toil very hard. HA. DIDNT THINK OF THAT NOW DID YAH? GOD HAS SPOKEN.
nik on 05 Mar 2008 at 8:31 pm #
Yea…I’m sure thats the only flaw…because cows slave under non-human farmers and dogs lay on porches built by squirrels, and monkeys entertain non existent people. Time line is all off.
KenIsADumbAss on 05 Mar 2008 at 8:44 pm #
Ken, calm down. its just a joke. I bet you were one of those faggots who watch disney movies bitching about the unrealistics of animals talking
Chase on 05 Mar 2008 at 9:19 pm #
i read a story like this in my spanish class, except it was just a dog and a donkey
Janine on 05 Mar 2008 at 11:08 pm #
I bow to Ken. LOL
Jesus on 06 Mar 2008 at 12:23 am #
Funny ^^….but you wont win the lottery or write poetry, i know this because i am jesus and i know everything. Did you think of THAT?
ELBSeattle on 06 Mar 2008 at 3:53 am #
This is really dumb. Sorry.
Dennis Brown on 06 Mar 2008 at 7:27 am #
Its so wonderful and so true, thank you very much
REDNECKS on 06 Mar 2008 at 8:13 am #
For the first 18 ears I lived in freedom. For the next 4 years I educated myself with a degree and with good drugs and partying, as well as banging every chick on earth. The next 6 years I played hockey and rode a Harley, again banging every chick from Cali to Nova Scotia. The current 20 year span is wife, kid, and retirement. Sorry, what was the subject again? Oh yeah, redneck internet humor. I don’t get it.
God on 08 Mar 2008 at 1:11 pm #
Jesus, this is your father, you don’t know everything. I made you to be a savior of the people, not to be a prick.
Ken, you are not me, and you have never spoken for me. You won’t win the lotto, sorry, I can change that, but I think you need to reflect on your life more. Even the kids at starbucks thinks your poetry sucks. But that’s ok, I still love you.
Das Leben » Blog Archiv » Das Leben - erklärt! on 16 Mar 2008 at 3:54 pm #
[...] habe auf http://emailfromgrandma.com/ einen tollen Witz gefunden und ihn [...]
Jan on 07 Apr 2008 at 6:40 pm #
Funny! I enjoyed it!
Vayark on 05 Jun 2008 at 7:44 am #
I am the alien commander Vayark. I believe that this report is true of most humans, although not to a lucky few. I will say no more.
Holy Spirit on 09 Jun 2008 at 8:28 pm #
Ah the Father and the Son are bickering again.
Oh well… Anyone one want to be able to speak in tongues?
(It is fun I swear)
God's Advisor(The REAL God) on 24 Jun 2008 at 5:26 pm #
God…don’t lie to Ken for you have never loved him and never will…His poetry does suck…And four days after this he will die a horrible and painful death…This is my decision for I AM THE TRUE GOD!!
NoelJ » Be thankful, don’t complain on 10 Jul 2008 at 2:23 am #
[...] has now been explained to you. Source 1 [?] Share [...]
am here on 30 Sep 2008 at 12:23 am #
nirvana at last!!
Buddha on 15 May 2009 at 11:59 am #
Shut up you guys.
Allah on 15 May 2009 at 2:35 pm #
Cut this shit out, you idiots.