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Apr 04 2008 11:14 am

Posted by under Humor

Jokes to Offend Everyone

JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE

 


What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?



 
Juan on Juan

 


What is a Yankee?


The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

 


What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?


The position of the dirt bag


 


Why is divorce so expensive?


Because it’s worth it.



 
 
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?


 

Doughnuts

 


Why is air a lot like sex?


Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

 


What do you call a smart blonde?



 
A golden retriever.

 


What do attorneys use for birth control?

 


Their personalities.

 


What’s the difference between a BOYFRIEND  and a husband?


10 years and 45 lbs

 


What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?


  45 minutes

 


What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?


Through his chest with a sharp knife

 


Why do men want to marry virgins?


They can’t stand criticism.



 
 Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?


Because those men already have boyfriends.


 


What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?


After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

 


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?


The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

 


Why don’t bunnies make noise when they have sex?


  Because they have cotton balls.

 


What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW?


A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

 


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?


‘Are you sure it’s mine?’

 


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?


Mace will do that to you.

 


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?


Everyone has the same DNA.

 


Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?


Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

 


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?


A different bar.

 


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a

blonde baby?


They named him ‘Sum Ting Wong’



 
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?


A speech impediment



 
What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

 


A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with… ‘a recipe’.

 


How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?


Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

 

What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?


A northern fairytale begins ‘Once upon a time ..’ -

A southern fairytale begins ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit….

 





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20 Comments »

20 Responses to “Jokes to Offend Everyone”

  1. guffman on 19 Apr 2008 at 5:23 pm #

    fail.

  2. psi on 22 Apr 2008 at 1:57 am #

    These jokes are totally unfunny!

  3. Greg on 22 Apr 2008 at 7:26 pm #

    Smokin’ great LoL

  4. Bob on 28 Apr 2008 at 7:41 pm #

    I guess these jokes hit a little close to home for you two?

  5. yelli on 29 Apr 2008 at 1:33 pm #

    no bob, im sure none of them hit home with anyone… they’re just….. not all that great

  6. Jess on 05 May 2008 at 2:27 am #

    I liked them LOL stupid but funny!

  7. billy (lol) on 22 Jun 2008 at 4:00 pm #

    lol wow this is soo funy, very dark humor lol

  8. what on 22 Jun 2008 at 4:47 pm #

    These are f***ing terrible.

  9. um...yeah on 23 Jun 2008 at 12:20 am #

    Yeah…These jokes have been around for quite a while now. Some of them are kinda funny, a little bit. This is the type of humor you would expect from your douchebag boss, or some other very unfunny character that you might happen upon.

  10. Juan on 04 Mar 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    I guess you all are a bunch of very funny guys. huh??

  11. CAH on 15 Apr 2009 at 6:38 am #

    these are the most un offanisive jokes ever, i could shit better ones such as,

    whats the difference between madline Maccan and the pope, the pope will die a virgin.

    sort it out mate

  12. brickbat on 21 Apr 2009 at 11:54 pm #

    c’mon! no “black and whit and red all over”? (nun with a spear in her head). HHHAAAAAA!
    sorry.

  13. Anon on 02 May 2009 at 12:18 pm #

    Stop hating! If you didn’t like the jokes then why did you read them all then waste more of your time posting a stupid comment that the person who posted the jokes is never going to read?

  14. povondium on 05 May 2009 at 8:54 am #

    in the interest of equality, why are there no black jokes, just mexican chinese blonde and stupid white men. ya some kinda coward or what?

  15. firstmate on 06 May 2009 at 2:19 pm #

    Actually quite a good collection. I have not seen any of these before.

    Ignore the trolls with their insipid and dickless taunts.

    jamescfield at cooptel dot com

  16. The Baldchemist on 08 May 2009 at 8:52 am #

    Its time they painted the walls in your bar toilet. These have been around for years but Iguess they are always new to some eh?

  17. The Baldchemist on 08 May 2009 at 8:53 am #

    Now that is the best! My comment awaiting moderation! hahahah on a joke site!

  18. hitler on 31 Aug 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    no nigger jokes. i want to offend niggers. and jews.

  19. Zedge on 21 Oct 2009 at 12:52 am #

    hey You said the “N” word! shame on you, naughty,naughty!

  20. Xolid on 16 Jul 2010 at 7:41 pm #

    BMW one was best, lmfao

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