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Apr 25 2008 11:27 pm

Posted by under Humor


LOT’S WIFE: The Sunday school teacher was describing how
Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little
Jason interrupted, ‘My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,’
he announced triumphantly, ‘and she turned into a telephone pole!’

GOOD SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story
of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, ‘If you saw a person lying
on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?’
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, ‘I think I’d throw

DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, ‘Johnny, do you think
Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?’
‘No,’ replied Johnny. ‘How could he, with just two worms?’

HIGHER POWER: A Sunday school teacher said to her children, ‘We have
been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But,
there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?’
One child blurted out, ‘Aces!’

MOSES AND THE RED SEA : Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what
he had learned in Sunday School. ‘Well, Mom, our teacher told us how
God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites
out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a
pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge
and all the Israelites were saved.’ ‘Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher 

taught you?’ his mother asked. ‘Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher  
did, you’d never believe it!’

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD: A Sunday school teacher decided to have her
young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible -
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little
Rick was excited about the task, but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the
day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped
up to the microphone and said proudly, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd, and
that’s all I need to know.’

UNANSWERED PRAYER? The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her
father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting
his sermon. One day, she asked him why.’Well, Honey,’ he began, proud that
his daughter was so observant of his messages. ‘I’m asking the Lord
to help me preach a good sermon.’
‘How come He doesn’t do it?’ she asked.

BEING THANKFUL: A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, ‘So your
mother says prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What
does she say?’ The little boy replied, ‘Thank God he’s in bed!’

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER: During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there
was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy’s mother was
horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, ‘Tommy,
whatever made you do such a thing?’ Tommy answered, soberly, ‘I asked God to
teach me to whistle, and He did just then!’

TIME TO PRAY: A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every
night.’Yes, sir,’ the boy replied.
  ‘And, do you always say them in the  

morning, too?’ the pastor asked.  ‘No sir,’ the boy replied. ‘I ain’t scared 
in the daytime.’

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?: When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers,
she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal
(current and past).For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly
prayer, Kelli would say, ‘And all girls.’ As this soon became part of
her nightly routine, to include this at the end, my curiosity got the
best of me and I asked her, ‘Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?’
Her response, ‘Because we always finish our prayers by saying ‘All Men’!’

SAY A PRAYER: Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner
at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as
the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he
started eating right away ‘Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.’
said his mother.
  ‘I don’t have to,’ The boy replied.  ‘Of course, you do,’ his 

mother insisted. ‘We say a prayer before eating, at our house.’ ‘That’s our 
house,’ Johnny explained. ‘But this is Grandma’s house, and she knows  

how to cook!

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