Archive for July, 2008

Jul 22 2008

Posted by under Tips

BANANAS

Hurrah for bananas.  They are kind of like WD40 or those dryer sheets. . .

Thought this was really interesting Going  Banana’s!!  Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!

A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas.   He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.   Read on, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.  Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.  But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana! . This i s because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school ( England ) were helped through the ir exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost the ir brain power. Research has shown th! at the p otassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soo the s and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness. </ I>
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes ove! r-acidit y and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many o the r cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mo the rs. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure the ir baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because the y contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 the y contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in the m, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, the reby reducing our potassium levels.. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the o the r vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe….polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !!!

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Jul 21 2008

Posted by under Humor

WAL-MART GREETER…

            Wal-Mart Greeter…
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have the re. Are they twins?"

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain’t! The oldest one’s 9 and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn’t
believe someone would sleep with you twice. Have a good day and
thank you for shopping at Wal- Mart."

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Jul 19 2008

Posted by under Humor

MEN

You women will love this….. and you guys are man enough to love it too.

 

 

 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his s weat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma "
And they say blondes are dumb…
———————————————————–
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I’ll miss you…"
———————————————————–
"It’s just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
———————————————————–
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
———————————————————–
A man and his wife, now in their 60’s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger…
Whoosh…immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
———————————————————–
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death.
AMEN
———————————————————–
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
———————————————————–
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
———————————————————–
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
———————————————————–
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
———————————————————–
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
———————————————————–
Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day!


 
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!

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Jul 15 2008

Posted by under Humor

CIA JOB INTERVIEW….

CIA Job Interview

The CIA had an opening for an assassin...

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there
were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.
                        
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances.  Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a
chair...  kill  her!!

The man said, 'You can't be serious.  I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job.  Take your
wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room.  All was quiet for about 5
minutes.  The man came out with tears in his eyes.
'I tried, but I
 can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don' have what it takes.  Take your wife
home.'

Then it was the woman's turn...
She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.  She took the
gun and went into the room.  Shots were heard, one after another.  They
heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.  After a few minutes,
all was quiet.  The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping
the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks,' she said.  'I had to beat him to
death
with the chair.'
                      
                        MORAL:                    
                        Women are crazy.
                        Don't mess with them. 

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