Archive for January, 2009

Jan 27 2009

Posted by under Humor,politics

WE’RE NEXT IN LINE BABY!!

Ya mero nos llega el dia.

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Jan 26 2009

Posted by under Feel Good

BREAKFAST AT MCDONALD/PLEASE READ?

  

 

 

A Return is Requested….You’ll see why.


Breakfast at McDonald’s


 

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):


 




I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college  degree.


 




The last  class I had to take was Sociology.


 




The teacher  was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human  being had been graced with.


 




Her last  project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’


 




The class was  asked to go out and smile at three people and document their  reactions.


 


 


I am a very  friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I  thought this would be a piece of cake,


literally.


 




Soon after we  were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to  McDonald’s one crisp March morning.


 




It was just  our way of sharing special playtime with our son.


 




We were  standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone  around us began to back away, and then

  even my  husband did.


 




I did not  move an inch… an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me  as I turned to see why they had moved.


 




As I turned  around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing  behind me were two poor homeless men.


 




As I looked  down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was  ‘smiling’


 




His beautiful  sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for  acceptance.


 




He said,  ‘Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been  clutching.


 




The second  man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the  second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his  salvation..


 




I held my tears as I stood there  with them.


 




The young lady at the counter  asked him what they wanted.


 




He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’  because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the  restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be  warm).


 




Then I really felt it – the  compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man  with the blue eyes.



That is when I noticed all eyes in the

restaurant were set on me, judging

my every action.


 




I smiled and asked the young lady  behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate  tray.


 




I then walked around the corner to  the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on  the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold  hand.


 




He looked up at me, with tears in  his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’


 




I leaned over, began to pat his  hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you. God is here working through  me to give you hope.’


 




I started to cry as I walked away  to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and  said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me  hope..’


 




We held hands for a moment and at  that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given  were we able to give..


 




We are not church goers, but we  are believers.


 




That day showed me the pure Light  of God’s sweet love.


 




I returned to college, on the last  evening of class, with this story in hand.


 




I turned in ‘my project’ and the  instructor read it.


 




Then she looked up at me and said,  ‘Can I share this?’


 




I slowly nodded as she got the  attention of the class.


 




She began to read and that is when  I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to  heal people and to be healed.


 




In my own way I had touched the  people at McDonald’s, my son,the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a  college student.


 




I graduated with one of the  biggest lessons I would ever learn:


 




UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.


 




Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to





LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS –

NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.


 




There is an Angel sent to watch over you.


 




In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over.


 




An Angel wrote:

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart


 




To handle yourself, use your head..

To handle others, use your heart.


 


           






God Gives every bird it’s food, but He does not throw it into its nest.


 




Send it back, you’ll see why !



   








A box of gold

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




With a secret inside


 




that has never been  told


 




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




This box is priceless


 




but as I  see


 




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




The treasure inside is


 




precious to me


 




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




Today I share this


 




treasure with  thee


 




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




It’s the treasure of


friendship you’ve




given me.


 




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


 




If this comes back to you


 




then you’ll have a  friend


 




for life but, if  this


 




becomes deleted, you  are


 




not a  friend.


 




Send this to everyone you


 




consider a  friend!


 




This is a magic frog.


 




It will grant you one wish and only one wish,


 




that is, if you decide to send  this to others. You can wish for anything.


 




Repeat your wish until you have stopped scrolling. Make it count!


 




FOR YOUR WISH TO COME TRUE YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO:


 




3 PEOPLE – YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE EVENTUALLY


 




5 PEOPLE – YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE IN 3 MONTHS


 




10 PEOPLE – YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE IN 5 WEEKS


 




15 PEOPLE – YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE IN 1 WEEK


 




CAN’T WAIT A WEEK???

22 People-Your Wish Will

Come True In 1 Day!


 


 


 




******  **********REMEMBER**************

THIS MUST BE SENT OUT THE

DAY YOU READ IT FOR

YOU TO GET YOUR WISH

 

 

 

 

 

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Jan 25 2009

Posted by under Humor

Great Signs

 

Friends don’t let friends
take home ugly men
 
Women’s restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach , DE


 
 
 

Beauty is only a light switch away. 
Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC


 
 
 

If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let’s all get wasted together 
and have the time of our lives.

Armand’s Pizza, Washington , DC


 
 
 

Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity. 

The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LA


 
 
 

No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.

Men’s Room
Linda ‘s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC


 
 
 

At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry. 

Bentley ‘s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ


 
 
 

It’s hard to make a comeback
when you haven’t been anywhere. 

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ


 
 
 

Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
 
Women’s restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT


 
 
 

If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
 
Revolution Books
New York , New York


 
 
 

If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress? 
Congress!

Men’s restroom House of Representatives, 
Washington , DC


 
 
 

Express Lane :
Five beers or less
 
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic ‘s, Phoenix , AZ


 
 
 

You’re too good for him. 
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom
Ed Debevic ‘s, Beverly Hill s , CA

 
 

No wonder you always go home alone. 
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom,
Ed Debevic ‘s, Beverly Hill s , CA

  

~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~


 

 

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you’re going to have trouble with it 

Women’s restroom
Dick ‘s Last Resort, Dallas , TX


 

 

 

 

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Jan 24 2009

Posted by under Humor

When the fight started….

When the fight started –

My wife sat down on  the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She  asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for  our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

When I got home last night, my wife demanded  that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

After retiring, I went to the Social Security  office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind  the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify  my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left  my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I  opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She  said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough  for me’ and she processed my Social Security  application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your  pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’  I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.  I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And  then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–


I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare,  please."

He said, "Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— —

A  woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her  husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you t o pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

———— ——— ——— ——

I  tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light  for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold  cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— —–

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her  butt look big.  I told her not as much as th e dress she wore yesterday

And then the fight started…..

———– – ——— ——— ——— ——

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent  babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man  ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’

So the man  jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the  window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why  were you running?’

And then the fight started…..

———— ——— — ——- ——— ——— —-

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped  quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50  mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the  radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all  day.

I went back into the house, quietly  undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled  up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you  believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-


I asked my wife, "Where do you  want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  "Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that’s when the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in bed.  I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she  answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I’d like to phone a friend."

And that’s when the fight started….

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