E-Mail from Grandma

These 16 Police Comments were taken off police car videos   
around the country:
 
#16  "You know, stop lights don’t come any  redder
Than  the one you just went through."
 
#15  "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are  new,  
they’ll  stretch after you wear them a while."
 
#  14 "If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make  your Birth
certificate  a worthless document."
 
#13  "If you run, you’ll only go to jail  tired."
 
#12  "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per  second,  
because  that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be  chasing you."
 
#11  "You don’t know how fast you were  going?  I guess that means
I  can write anything I want to on the ticket,  huh?"
 
#10  "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but  I don’t think
it  will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift  supervisor?"
 
#9  "Warning!  You want a  warning?  O.K., I’m warning you not  to  
do  that again, or I’ll give you another  ticket."
 
#8  "The answer to this last question will determine  whether you  
are  drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
 
#7  "Fair?  You want me to be  fair?  Listen, fair is a place  where  
you  go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn  dogs.
 
#6  "Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets  and my wife  
gets  a toaster oven.."
 
#5  "In God we trust, all others we run through  NCIC."
 
#4  "How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you  had?"
 
#3  "No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore.  We  used to,  
but  now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we  can."
 
#2  "I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a  personal  
friend  of yours; you know someone who can post your  bail."