Jun 14 2009 01:24 pm
Posted by Grandson under Humor
The IRS and Grandpa
Subject: The IRS and Grandpa
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the
IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by
saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS
finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says
Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go
ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that
I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a
bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he
takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.
’Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks
’I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on
the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream
reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much
urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.
’Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
’Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning,
when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he
bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in
here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy
about it!’
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by
saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS
finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says
Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go
ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that
I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a
bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he
takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.
’Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks
’I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on
the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could
possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream
reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much
urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.
’Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
’Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning,
when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he
bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in
here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy
about it!’
Don’t Mess with Old People!!
You should follow Grandma on Twitter here.
jesse on 15 Jun 2009 at 11:51 am #
well first of i dont know if this site is the but i dont know what to do i know a famoly in salt lake city utah who is running a shop elegaly i bealeve he is a elegal imigrant not for shour but the company name is a and j customizing body shop armondo and jana bellizintine is what they are named i bealeve they have been running this shop and not paying taxes for along time not for positive the absolute of the exzact surcomstances but would love to find out how to inform the right people of this informatiom please help me to find out what and who to contact
Crazy on 20 Aug 2009 at 12:31 pm #
Jesse,
I know of this guy that likes using run on sentences and he never used a period or a comma or anything it is really annoying to read his wall of texts you should call the local sheriffs office and put in a report get those scum criminals out of our country god bless America