Archive for July, 2010

Jul 31 2010

Posted by under Humor

A Golf story

A Golf Story

Sam stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity.  He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, 'What in the world is taking so long?'  My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,' Sam explained.  'I want to make a perfect shot.'  His companion said, 'You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here.

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Jul 27 2010

Posted by under Humor,politics

Drinking with an Arizona girl

Drinking with an  Arizona Girl

A Mexican, an Arab, and an  Arizona girl are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots

the glass to pieces.

He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, 'In the Arab World, we have

so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The  Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber,

picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the

Mexican and the Arab.

Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,

'In  Arizona , we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

God Bless  Arizona

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Jul 25 2010

Posted by under Feel Good,Religion,Tips

Read & Return

If God brings you to it he'll bring you through it ..

 Read this…I mean REALLY read this

 

read and return

 

 

 This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you — and me!

 You have 6 minutes

 

 There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.

 

 Do not keep this message.

 

 This must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

 

 

 ONE.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully

 

TWO.. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

 

THREE.Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want..

 

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.

 

FIVE.When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye

 

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

 

SEVEN..Believe in love at first sight.

 

EIGHT.Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

 

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

 

TEN... In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

 

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives….

 

TWELVE..Talk slowly but think quickly..

 

THIRTEEN.. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

 

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

 

 

 FIFTEEN.Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

 

 SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson !

 

SEVENTEEN.. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

 

EIGHTEEN.Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship…

 

NINETEEN.When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

 

TWENTY……Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

 

 

 TWENTY-ONE…Spend some time alone..

 

 

 Now, here's the FUN part!

 Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve. 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly..

 5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.

 9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks

 

 15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

 

 A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.. Do not keep this message

 

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Jul 21 2010

Posted by under Humor

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

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