Archive for the 'Tips' Category

Jun 01 2010

Posted by under Humor,Tips

THE DONKEY

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town.  

The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked.  

 As they went along they passed some people 

Who remarked it was a shame the old man 

Was walking and the boy was riding.


The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right,

So they changed positions.

 

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, 

'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'


So they then decided they'd both walk!  

Soon they passed some more people who thought 

They were stupid to walk when they had a 

Decent donkey to ride.  

So, they both rode the donkey.


Now they passed some people 

Who shamed them by saying how awful to 

Put such a load on a poor donkey.


The boy and man figured they were probably right, 

So they decide to carry the donkey.   

As they crossed the bridge,

They lost their grip on the animal 

And he fell into the river and drowned.


 


 
 
The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, 
You might as well.. 

Kiss your ass goodbye!

  
Have A Nice Day And 
Be Careful With Your Donkey

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May 28 2010

Posted by under Tips

Pass The Butter… PLEASE

Pass The Butter .. Please.     

         This is interesting
 . .. . 

Margarine
  was originally manufactured to fatten  turkeys.  When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put  all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their  heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get  their money back. 

It was a white substance with no food appeal  so they added the yellow colouring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.  How do you like it?   They have come out  with some clever new flavourings…    

 DO  YOU KNOW.. 
The difference between margarine and butter?   

Read on to the end…gets very interesting!    


Both  have the same amount of calories. 


Butter  is slightly higher in saturated fats at 
8  grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine. 

Eating 
margarine can increase  heart disease in women by  53%  over   eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent  Harvard  Medical Study. 

Eating 
butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in  other foods. 

Butter
  has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and    
only  because  they are added! 


Butter
  tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of  other foods. 

Butter
  has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years 

And now, for Margarine.. 


Very High in Trans 
fatty acids

Triples risk of coronary 
heart disease 
Increases  total cholesterol
 and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and  lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol) 

Increases  the risk of cancers up to five times..
 

Lowers  quality of 
breast milk. 

Decreases immune response. 


Decreases  
insulin response. 

And  here's the most disturbing fact…. HERE  IS  THE  PART  THAT  IS  VERY INTERESTING! 

Margarine  is but ONE  MOLECULE  away  from being PLASTIC… and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT 

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life  and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is  added,  changing the molecular structure of the  substance).    


You  can try this yourself: 


Purchase  a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded  area.  Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things: 


 *  no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it  (that should tell you something) 


 *  it does not rot or smell differently because it has 
 no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.  Why?   Because it is nearly plastic .  Would you melt your Tupperware and  spread that  on your toast?   

Share  This With Your Friends…..(If you want to butter them up')! 

Chinese Proverb:  
When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it,  you have a  moral obligation to share it with  others.   
Pass the BUTTER    PLEASE

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Mar 18 2010

Posted by under Feel Good,Humor,Reality,Tips

Worry

WORRY 
 

Is there a magic cutoff period when  

offspring become accountable for their own

actions?  Is there a wonderful moment when

parents can become detached spectators in

the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's

their life,' and feel nothing?

 

 When  I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital

corridor waiting for doctors to put a few

stitches in my daughter's head.  I asked, 'When do

you stop worrying?' The nurse said,

'When they get out of the accident stage.' My

Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. 
 

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little

chair in a classroom and heard how one of my

children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,

and was headed for a career making

license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher

said, 'Don't worry, they all go through

This stage and then you can sit back, relax and

enjoy them.' My dad just smiled

faintly and said nothing. 
 

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime

waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come

home, the front door to open.  A friend said,

'They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,

in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be

adults.' My dad just smiled faintly

and said nothing. 
 

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being

vulnerable.  I was still worrying over my

children, but there was a new wrinkle. There

was nothing I could do about it. My

Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.  I

continued to anguish over their failures, be

tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in

their disappointments. 
 

My friends said that when my kids got married I

could stop worrying and lead my own

life.  I wanted to believe that, but I was

haunted by my Dad's warm smile and his

occasional, 'You look pale. Are you alright?  

Call me the minute you get home. Are

you depressed about something?' 

 

 Can it be that parents are sentenced to a  

lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another

handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of

human frailties and the fears of the

unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue

that elevates us to the highest form of life?

 

 One of my children became quite irritable  

recently, saying to me, 'Where were you?  I've been

calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.'

I smiled a warm smile.   

The torch has been passed.


 

PASS IT ON TO OTHER WONDERFUL PARENTS.

(And also to your children. That's the fun!)

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Mar 16 2010

Posted by under Humor,Tips

Girlie Wisdom

Girlie Wisdom!cid:1.4233646816@web63607.mail.re1.yahoo.com 

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.. 
 

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.


3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoe
s.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. 


6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.


7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 


8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
 

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers'.


10. 
Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! 

11. Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when they say things like…'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' …..Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! 


12.. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.


13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding?  That's my idea of a perfect day! 


SEND THIS TO 5 BRIGHT WOMEN YOU KNOW AND MAKE THEIR DAY!!!
LIVE SIMPLY……LAUGH OFTEN….LOVE DEEPLY
 
  
cid:2.4233646817@web63607.mail.re1.yahoo.com

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