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Jul 11 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor

DEAR ABBY WAS AT A LOSS

Proof once again that they walk among us.

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:

Dear Abby,
    A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.  One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties.  These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment.  Do you think they could be Lebanese?

 
Dear Abby,
    What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?


Dear Abby,

   I have a man I can't trust.  He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his..


Dear Abby,
    I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years.  It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.


Dear Abby,

   I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.


Dear Abby,
    Our son writes that he is taking Judo.  Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?


Dear Abby,

   I joined the Navy to see the world.  I've seen it.  Now how do I get out?


 Dear Abby,
    My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years.  He must be crazy.


Dear Abby,

   I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

 
Dear Abby,
   My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.


Dear Abby,
    You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.  Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor.  Now what do I do?  

Remember, these people can vote!!

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Jul 10 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor, Tests

Yearly Dementia Test

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory  compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.  Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.    
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
 
 

1. What do you put in a toaster?

 







Answer
: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.

 
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.  



2.
  Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?  


 

 

Answer
: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.  

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?  

 
 

 



Answer
: Greenhouses are made from glass.
 If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.


4
Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to  
Milford Haven in Wales    In London , 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9
people get on.
In
  Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford
Haven   ..  

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?


 

 

Answer
: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?

   It was YOU driving the bus!!


If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.


PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

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Jul 09 2010

Posted by Grandson under Tips

ONIONS………THIS IS VERY INTERESTING

Disclaimer – this information came to me from another nurse.  Have tried none of these things!  

ONIONS — Who Would've Thought it?  
In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people, there was a Doctor who visited many farmers to see if he could help  them combat the flu.  Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it, and many died.
The doctor came upon one farmer, and to his surprise, everyone in the household was very healthy.  When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home (probably only two rooms back then).  The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope.  She gave him one, and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion.  It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.
 
Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ.  She said that several years ago many of her employees were coming down with the flu and so were many of her customers. The next year she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop.  To her surprise, none of her staff got sick.  It must work… (And no, she is not in the onion business.)
The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home.  If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office or under your desk or even on top somewhere.  Try it and see what happens.  We did it last year, and we never got the flu.   
If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the better.  If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case…Whatever, what have you to lose?  Just a few bucks on onions!!!

Now there is a P.S. to this, for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues.  She replied with this most interesting experience about onions: Thanks for the reminder. I don't know about the farmer's story…but I do know that I contracted pneumonia, and needless to say I was very ill.  I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion. Put one end on a fork, and then place the forked end into an empty jar… placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs.  Sure enough, it happened just like that…the onion was a mess, and I began to feel better.  
 
Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago.  They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.  
This is the other note:  LEFTOVER ONIONS ARE POISONOUS!  I have used an onion which has been left in the fridge.  Sometimes I don't use a whole one at one time, so I save the other half for later.  Now with this info, I have changed my mind.  I will buy smaller onions in the future.  

I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, makers of mayonnaise.  Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in the Mullins family.  My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO.   Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist.  The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed.  He's one of the brothers.  Ed is a chemistry expert and is involved in developing most of the sauce formula.  He's even developed sauce formula for McDonald's.  Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz.  

During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil.  Ed's answer will surprise you.  Ed said that all commercially-made mayo is completely safe.  "It doesn't even have to be refrigerated.  No harm in refrigerating it, but it's not really necessary."  He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment.  He then talked about the quintessential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick.   
 
Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato  salad?).  Ed says it's not the mayonnaise (as long as it's not homemade mayo) that spoils in the outdoors.   It's probably the onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES.  
He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions.  You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator.  
It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put on your hotdogs at the baseball park!)  
 
Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put it on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble.  Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.  
 
So, how's that for news?  Take it for what you will.  I (the author) am going to be very careful about my onions from now on.  For some reason, I see a lot of credibility coming from a chemist and a company that produces millions of pounds of mayonnaise every year.  
Also, dogs should never eat onions.  Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions.  

Please remember it is dangerous to cut onions and try to use it to cook the next day.  It becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates toxic bacteria which may cause adverse stomach infections because of excess bile secretions and even food poisoning.   
Please pass this on to all you love and care about.

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Jun 06 2010

Posted by Grandson under Feel Good, Reality

POW Escape Maps Hidden in Monopoly Games

Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape…

Monopoly cover from 1941Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.

Paper maps had some real drawbacks — they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.
 
Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.

At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
 
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
 
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.
 
As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:
 
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
 
British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set — by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
 
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets.. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war.
 
The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
 
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card!
 
I realize most of you are (probably) too young to have any personal connection to WWII (Dec. '41 to Aug. '45), but this is still interesting.

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