Archive for the Tag 'alcohol'

Jul 15 2009

Posted by under Humor,pictures

Company Picnic

This year, my company decided that we could have alcohol at our company picnic, but because of liability issues, we were only allowed one (1) drink per person…


I was fired for ordering the cups.

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Jul 07 2009

Posted by under Humor

Alcohol Myth

Alcohol  does not make you  FAT

 
–  it makes you LEAN  …. 
 
against  tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly  people.  

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Jun 29 2009

Posted by under Humor

Baptizing a drunk

Baptizing a Drunk

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven’t found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven’t found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again — – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
*
*
*
*
*

"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!

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