Archive for the Tag 'children'

Mar 20 2009

Posted by under Humor

Taxes

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .


 

Then 
he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.


 


 

When


 


 

The postal authorities received the letter to  God  ,  USA  , 
they decided to send it to the President.

 


 


 

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill.

 


 


 

The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money

 

to a little boy.

 


 


 

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you 
note to God, which read:

 


 


 

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for 
some reason you sent it through

 

Washington   D.C. and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes.

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Mar 17 2009

Posted by under Humor

Kids Are Quick

Subject: Kids Are Quick]

Kids Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA:         Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing y our math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:           Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:           I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE:           All right…  ’I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry
tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:  No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :  No, sir. It’s the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher

__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!

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Jul 25 2008

Posted by under Humor

WHY PARENTS DRINK….

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but
had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with
one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone
number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ‘ Hello ? ‘

‘Is your daddy home?’ he asked.

‘ Yes ,’ whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?’

The child whispered, ‘ No .’

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ‘Is your
Mommy there?’ ‘ Yes ‘

‘May I talk with her?’ Again the small voice whispered, ‘ No ‘

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, ‘Is anybody else there?’

‘ Yes ,’ whispered the child, ‘ a policeman. ‘

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss
asked, ‘May I speak with the policeman?’

‘ No, he’s busy , ‘ whispered the child.

‘Busy doing what?’

‘ Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ‘ came the whispered
answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through
the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ‘What is that noise?’

‘ A helicopter ‘ answered the whispering voice.

‘What is going on there?’ demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,

‘ The search team just landed a helicopter ‘

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ‘What are
they searching for?’

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

‘ ME . ‘

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Jul 05 2008

Posted by under Humor,pictures

Mother’s Nightmare

So there I was . . Just relaxing in front of the TV…….. 

When the kids yelled,  ‘Hey Mom, come see the kittens!’

 

1 Comment »

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