Archive for the Tag 'death'

May 23 2009

Posted by under Humor

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS

This one is priceless….A lesson to be learned from
typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.  However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just  returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she gasped and fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in.

I’ve seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

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Jun 07 2008

Posted by under Humor

ROSE AND DOROTHY

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Dorothy, had been friends all of their
lives.

When it was clear that Rose was dying, Dorothy visited her every day.
One day Dorothy said, "Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all
our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor:
when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s
soft-ball there."

Rose looked up at Dorothy from her deathbed and said, "Dorothy, you’ve
been my best friend for many years.. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do
this favor for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a few nights later, Dorothy was awakened from a sound sleep
by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her,
"Dorothy, Dorothy."

"Who is it?" asked Dorothy, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Dorothy — it’s me, Rose."
"You’re not Rose. Rose just died."

"I’m telling you, it’s me, Rose," insisted the voice.

"Rose! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and a little bad
news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Dorothy.

"The good news," Rose said, "is that there’s Softball in Heaven.
Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.
Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always
springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play
softball all we want, and we never get tired."

"That’s fantastic," said Dorothy. "It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So
what’s the bad news?"

"You’re pitching Tuesday."

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Apr 06 2008

Posted by under Humor,Religion

My Time’s UP?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to
the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked ‘Is my time up?’

God said, ‘No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.’

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and
have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, ‘I thought you
said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?’

(You’ll love this)

– God replied: ‘I didn’t recognize you.’

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