Archive for the Tag 'doctors'

Oct 02 2010

Posted by under Humor

DON’T MESS WITH THE OLD FOLKS…………….

Doctor's

Office and a SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST


 
An older gentleman had an appointment to

see the urologist who shared

offices with several other doctors.   

The waiting room was filled with patients.  

 As he approached the receptionist's desk,

he noticed that the receptionist was a large

unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo

wrestler..  

 He gave her his name.
  

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 

"YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;   

YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT

IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" 
 
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their

heads around to look at the very embarrassed man….   

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice

replied,   'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A

SEX CHANGE OPERATION,    BUT I DON'T WANT

THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.' 

 

The room erupted in applause! 


 

DON'T MESS

WITH OLD FOLKS.

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Mar 28 2010

Posted by under Humor

It’s hell to be old

OLD people  have problems that you haven't  even considered yet!  
     
An 85-year-old man was requested by his  Doctor to provide a semen sample as part of his  physical exam. 

The doctor gave the man a  jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'  

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the  jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day..  

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.   Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing…  

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.  

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.' 

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'    
   


The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

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May 21 2009

Posted by under Humor

Gassy Granny

 Gassy Granny

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ‘I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.’

The doctor says, ‘I see. Well, take these pills and come back to see me next week.’

The next week the lady goes back. ‘Doc,’ she says, ‘I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts — although still silent — stink terribly.’

The doctor says, ‘Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing…’

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Sep 28 2008

Posted by under Humor

WILL I LIVE TO BE 100 ?

WILL I LIVE TO BE 100?

I recently turned 70 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was
doing ‘fairly well’ for my age.*

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist
asking him, ‘Do you think I will live to be 100?’

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic
 
beverages?

‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I don’t do drugs, either.’


‘Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?’
‘I said, ‘No, I usually stay home and keep to myself’.


‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
I said, ‘No, my other doctor said that all red meat is
unhealthy!’

‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
sailing, hiking or bicycling?’


‘No, I don’t,’ I said

‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’

‘No,’ I said ‘I don’t do any of those things.’

He looked at me and said, ‘Then why do you give a shit?

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