Archive for the Tag 'dogs'

Apr 02 2009

Posted by under Humor,pictures

If ONLY dogs could talk

 "Look . . . I was thirsty man, deal with it. " 



   "Touch de duck… I keel you."  



‘Weeeeeee!!!  Look at me I’m Yoda!   



 "You want a piece of me?  Bring it….!" 


 "Kid . . . You’re askin’  the wrong guy." 


‘ I don’t get it.  Where’s the milk?! ‘   



‘Wasssup!! ‘



‘Bread!  You’re seriously giving me bread . . . ? ‘



[sniff . . Sniff] . . . …  "Oh, this part of the movie always makes me cry"


 "hello…….. can anyone hear me??? " This stupid bird’s about to get a snot bath."  

Echo echo echo echo

‘ Therrrz no way that was . . . [hiccup!] . . . Juzzt milk . . . [hiccup]! ‘



 "I . . . Hate . . You."  


 "Hi!!!  I’m Teddy, a wild little Gemini . . . . Aaaaaannnd, I, like,
You know, long walks on the beach. 
Aaaannnd I just LOVE me some tennis balls.   Byyeeee!!!!"



‘ I’m not….[yawn]…tired, ok? I’m…just….. A little…..sllleee..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ‘


‘ BUT I DON’T WANNA GO…!!!!  AAAAaaaaaahahhhahh ‘

 Bumble Yawwwwns

 "It was only a little puddle, why the 30 minute timeout?" 


 "Rrrrr…. I’m a  Tiger.  Rrrrrrr"  



 Wow, dude…  I went through your bag, man, and I found this
little bag of green stuff.  So I totally ate it.
Awesome.  Got any munchies?  I can’t feel my tongue…. 



 "So Dad left when he found out about Mom and the Panda."


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Jul 04 2008

Posted by under Feel Good

A dog’s purpose

A Dog’s Purpose (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their
little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping
for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we
couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia
procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good
for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane
might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time,
that I wondered if he und erstood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty
or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering
aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘I know why.’

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.
I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life –
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’ The six-year-old
continued, ‘Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to
stay as long.’

Live simply.
Love generously..
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the t eacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a ba d day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play
with it..
Pee on it and walk away…

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Jun 19 2008

Posted by under Humor

The Tequila Test

The Tequila Test:
 If this doesn’t make you laugh — then you must really be having a bad
 day!!! This is why we should know our limits when drinking tequila.
 A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and
 sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be
 thousands of dollars in it.
 He approaches the bartender and asks. ‘What’s up with the jar?’
 Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money.’
 The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up. ‘What are the three tests?’
 Pay first, those are the rules.’ says the bartender.
 So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.
 ‘OK,’ the bartender says. ‘Here’s what you need to do:
 First, You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, all at
 once…and you can’t make a face while doing it.
 Second, There’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You
 have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
 Third, There’s a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never reached
 orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.’
 The man is stunned. ‘I know I paid my $10, but I’m not an idiot, I
 won’t do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila,
 and then do those other things…’
 ‘Your call,’ says the bartender, ‘but your money stays where it is.’

 As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, the n a few more, he asks,
 ‘Where zzat tequila?’
 He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.
 Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face.
 Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon
  the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on
 outside.  They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit
 bull yelping and then silence.

 Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
 into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all
 over his body.
 ‘Now,’ he says. ‘Where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?

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Apr 19 2008

Posted by under Feel Good

Papa dog………….

Paternal dog Billy takes on an unusual kid:
Billy the boxer has become the constant companion
of the 12-day old kid called Lilly. He sleeps with the
goat, licks her clean, and protects her from any
dangers at Pennywell Farm wildlife centre at
Buckfastleigh, near Totnes, Devon.
(wherever the heck that is)

The kid was abandoned by her mother when she
was only a few hours old and adopted by paternal
Billy when his owner Elizabeth Tozer began hand
rearing the goat.

The unusual bond has developed over the last
month and the pair are now inseparable.

Elizabeth said: "Lilly follows Billy around which is
really quite amusing to watch and Billy sleeps with
the goat and cleans her mouth after she feeds."

Lilly was the smallest of a litter of three kids and
her mother abandoned her because she could
only care for the two stronger ones. The pair have
attracted quite a crowd at the animal centre and
the staff are keen to see how their relationship
will develop.

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