E-Mail from Grandma » drugs

HELLO!!!!!!!!!

Grandson — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 03:51:05 +0000

—
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’

‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.

‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

‘You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..’

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

Propane Cylinders Used in Methamphetamine Production

Grandson — Sat, 24 May 2008 03:56:12 +0000

Great. One more thing to have to watch out for…

If you use a propane bbq grill or anything that runs on propane, please read the following warning. Follow the link at the end to see what to look for.

Meth cooks are getting the propane tanks from the exchanges at Wal-Mart, Kroger, Lowes, etc. and emptying them of the propane. Then they are filling them with anhydrous ammonia (which they now have a recipe for by the way). After they are finished with the cylinders, they return them to the store. They are then refilled with propane and sent back for you and me to buy. Anhydrous ammonia is very corrosive and weakens the structure of the tank. It can be very dangerous when mixed with propane and hooked up to our grills, etc.

According to the National Propane Gas Association, you should inspect the propane tank for any blue or greenish residue around the valve areas. If it is present, refuse to purchase that one.

Check the following website for more details and pictures.

http://www.npga.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=529

….. so I did her!

Grandson — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 03:16:18 +0000

One day I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said, "I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"

"I smoke ten stogies a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big fat joint. All my life I’ve eaten only junk food, and I put away at least a fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all."

Absolutely, absolutely amazing, I thought, and asked, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four," she replied.