Archive for the Tag 'grandma'

Feb 04 2011

Posted by under Feel Good,pictures

APRONS

 (Notice that a "Medium" is a size 14 – 16)
            

Remember making an apron in Home Ec? Remember Home Ec? If we have to explain "Home Ec" you may delete this. I just don't have the energy anymore. Read below.

The History of  'APRONS' 
 


I don't think our kids know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few and because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons required less material.  But along with that, it served as a potholder for  removing hot pans from the oven.  It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.  From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
 

When company came, those

aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.  And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
 

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
 From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
  In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.  When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.  When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
 
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

 

Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
 

REMEMBER:

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.  I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron – but love…  

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Nov 10 2009

Posted by under Humor

GRANDMA’S BOYFRIEND

Grandma's boyfriend

 

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.  Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

The minister fainted.

Now, that's funny… I don't care WHO you are.

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May 21 2009

Posted by under Humor

Gassy Granny

 Gassy Granny

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ‘I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.’

The doctor says, ‘I see. Well, take these pills and come back to see me next week.’

The next week the lady goes back. ‘Doc,’ she says, ‘I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts — although still silent — stink terribly.’

The doctor says, ‘Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing…’

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Apr 02 2008

Posted by under Humor

GRANDMA GOES TO COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi  grandma
a question if they aren’t prepared for the  answer.

                       In a trial, a Southern small-town  prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly,  elderly woman to
the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs.  Jones, do you know me?’
She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.  Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve  been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,  and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs.  You think you’re a big shot when you
haven’t the brains to realize  you’ll never amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know  you.’

                       The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what  else
to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do  you know
the defense attorney?’

                       She again replied, ‘ Why  yes, I do. I’ve known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  He’s lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can’t build a  normal relationship with
anyone, and his law practice is one of the  worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife  with three different women. One
of them was your wife. Yes, I know  him.’

                       The defense attorney nearly died.

                       The judge  asked both counselors to approach the
bench and, in a very quiet  voice, said,

                       ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me,  I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

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