Archive for the Tag 'kids say the darndest things'

Mar 24 2009

Posted by under Humor

children in church

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded..  His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
 

 
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
"Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
 
 
 
 
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord’s Prayer at a church service,
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
 

 

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
 


A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
 


Ms.  Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. 
She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms.. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.  But who’s the fourth person?"
"Oh, that’s Pontius – the pilot!"
 
 
 
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, I don’t have to. My mom is a good cook."
 
 
 
 

This is the best one.

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch
his wrinkled cheek.
 
She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God’s getting better at it, isn’t he ?"
 

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Mar 17 2009

Posted by under Humor

Kids Are Quick

Subject: Kids Are Quick]

Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA:         Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing y our math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t
have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:           Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:           I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE:           All right…  ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry
tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:  No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :  No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher

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PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL’S MEDICINE!!

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