Archive for the Tag 'lawyers'

Apr 11 2008

Posted by under Humor,Reality

Doctors vs Gun Owners

(A)   The number of physicians in the U.S. is

700,000.

(B)   Accidental deaths caused by Physicians

per year are
 

120,000.

(C)   Accidental deaths per physician

is  

0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of

Health Human Services.  

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  

Now think about this:
Guns
 
(A)   The number of gun owners in the U.S. is

80,000,000.  

(Yes, that’s 80 million)

 
(B)   The number of accidental gun deaths

per year, all age groups,

is

 
1,500.  

(C)   The number of accidental deaths


per gun owner
 

is


..000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>    

So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  

Remember, ‘Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.’

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>    

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT
 

ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  

Please alert your friends
 

to this
alarming threat. We must ban doctors  

before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  

Out of concern for the public at large,

I withheld the statistics on  

LAWYERS
 

for fear the shock would cause
 
people to panic and seek medical attention!

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Apr 02 2008

Posted by under Humor

GRANDMA GOES TO COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi  grandma
a question if they aren’t prepared for the  answer.

                       In a trial, a Southern small-town  prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly,  elderly woman to
the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs.  Jones, do you know me?’
She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.  Williams. I’ve known you
since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve  been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,  and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs.  You think you’re a big shot when you
haven’t the brains to realize  you’ll never amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know  you.’

                       The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what  else
to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do  you know
the defense attorney?’

                       She again replied, ‘ Why  yes, I do. I’ve known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  He’s lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can’t build a  normal relationship with
anyone, and his law practice is one of the  worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife  with three different women. One
of them was your wife. Yes, I know  him.’

                       The defense attorney nearly died.

                       The judge  asked both counselors to approach the
bench and, in a very quiet  voice, said,

                       ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me,  I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

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