Archive for the Tag 'lies'

Sep 06 2010

Posted by under Humor

Ol’ Blue

A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this – they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"

The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that sucker before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. As a Congressman.

No Comments »

Jun 22 2008

Posted by under Humor

WASH AND CURL

Subject: wash and curl

A woman stuck her head into a hair salon and asked,
“How long before I can get a wash & curl?
The beautician looked around the salon full of customers
and said, “about 2 hours.’ The woman left.
A few days later, the same woman stuck her head in the
door and asked, ‘ how long before I can get a
wash & curl?’
The beautician looked around at the salon and said,”
about 3 hours.’ The woman left.
A week later, the same woman stuck her head in the salon
and asked, ‘ How long before I can get a wash &
curl?’
The beautician looked around the salon and said, “about
a hour and a half.’ The woman left.
The beautician turned to her girlfriend and said, “Hey
Juanita, do me a favor.
Follow that woman and see where she goes. She keeps
asking how long she has to wait for a wash & curl,
but then she doesn’t ever come back.’

A little while later, Juanita returned to the salon, laughing
hysterically. The beautician asked, ‘So, where does that woman go when
she leaves?’
Juanita looked up, wiped the tears from her eyes and
said, ‘Your man’s house!’

No Comments »

E-Mail from Grandma - Blogged