Archive for the Tag 'love'

May 05 2009

Posted by under Uncategorized

Marital humor

Marital Humor 

Wife:        ‘What are you doing?’   

Husband:    ‘Nothing’. 

Wife:        ‘Nothing..?  You’ve been reading our marriage   certificate  for over an hour!!’ 

Husband:     ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’   

———————————————– 

Wife :       ‘Do you want dinner?’   

Husband:    ‘Sure! What are my choices?’   

Wife:         ‘Yes or no.’     

—————————————-
 

Wife:      ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet..  Why?’ 

Hubby:      ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great it is, I look at your picture and the problem simply disappears.’   

Wife:       ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’ 

Hubby:    ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’   

—————————————– 
  

Stress Reliever Girl:      ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden.’    

Boy:      ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’   

Girl:      ‘Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.’ 

————————————— 

Son:      ‘Mommie, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to be polite and give up my seat to a lady.’   

Mom:   ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’   

Son:      ‘But mommie, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’   

————————————–

A newly married man asked his wife,     ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me that fortune?’   

  ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU THAT FORTUNE!’   

————————————-  

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever. 

The guy replies: ‘Thanks for the early warning.’ 

————————————-
 

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my cooking, my 
pretty face ……or my sexy body?’
   

He looked at her from head to toe, smiled, and replied: 
    ‘Well …….I REALLY like your sense of humor!’
   


(He’s now resting peacefully in an unmarked shallow grave behind the garage!)

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May 04 2009

Posted by under Reality

Great Responsibility

A PET’S TEN COMMANDMENTS. ………
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8.. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10.. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

~Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them.
Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God’s critters.

~Now please pass this on to other pet owners. We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness. It is here on earth and has four legs!

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Jul 04 2008

Posted by under Feel Good

A dog’s purpose

A Dog’s Purpose (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their
little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping
for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we
couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia
procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good
for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane
might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time,
that I wondered if he und erstood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty
or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering
aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘I know why.’

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me.
I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life –
like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’ The six-year-old
continued, ‘Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to
stay as long.’

Live simply.
Love generously..
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the t eacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure
ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a ba d day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them
gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play
with it..
Pee on it and walk away…

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Jun 30 2008

Posted by under Uncategorized

Wisdom with Age

[]
George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)

IF YOU DON’T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY I N YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.
George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love,  whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can im prove, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
[]

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