Archive for the Tag 'marriage'

Jul 21 2010

Posted by under Humor

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

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Jul 12 2010

Posted by under Feel Good,pictures,Reality

The Wedding Gown that Made History

The Wedding Gown That Made History


 Lilly Friedman doesn't remember the last name of the woman who designed and sewed the wedding gown she wore when she walked down the aisle over 60 years ago.  But the grandmother of seven does recall that when she first told her fianc
Ludwig that she had always dreamed of being married in a white gown he realized he had his work cut out for him.
For the tall, lanky 21-year-old who had survived hunger, disease and torture this was a different kind of challenge.  How was he ever going to find such a dress in the Bergen Belsen Displaced Person's camp where they felt grateful for the clothes on their backs?
 
Fate would intervene in the guise of a former German pilot who walked into the food distribution center where Ludwig worked, eager to make a trade for his worthless parachute.  In exchange for two pounds of coffee beans and a couple of packs of cigarettes Lilly would have her wedding gown.
 
For two weeks Miriam the seamstress worked under the curious eyes of her fellow DPs, carefully fashioning the six parachute panels into a simple, long sleeved gown with a rolled collar and a fitted waist that tied in the back with a bow. When the dress was completed she sewed the leftover material into a matching shirt for the groom.
 
A white wedding gown may have seemed like a frivolous request in the surreal environment of the camps, but for Lilly the dress symbolized the innocent, normal life she and her family had once led before the world descended into madness.
 
Lilly and her siblings were raised in a Torah observant home in the small town of Zarica, Czechoslovakia where her father was a melamed, respected and well liked by the young yeshiva students he taught in nearby Irsheva.
 
He and his two sons were marked for extermination immediately upon arriving at Auschwitz .  For Lilly and her sisters it was only their first stop on their long journey of persecution, which included Plashof, Neustadt, Gross Rosen and finally Bergen Belsen .

 Lilly Friedman and her parachute dress on display in the Bergen Belsen Museum

Four hundred people marched 15 miles in the snow to the town of Celle on
January 27, 1946 to attend Lilly and Ludwig's wedding.  The town synagogue, damaged and desecrated, had been lovingly renovated by the DPs with the meager materials available to them.  When a Sefer Torah arrived from England they converted an old kitchen cabinet into a makeshift Aron Kodesh.
 
"My sisters and I lost everything – our parents, our two brothers, our homes. The most important thing was to build a new home."
 
Six months later, Lilly's sister Ilona wore the dress when she married Max Traeger.  After that came Cousin Rosie.  How many brides wore Lilly's dress? "I            stopped counting after 17." With the camps experiencing the highest marriage rate in the world, Lilly's gown was in great demand.
 
In 1948, when President Harry Truman finally permitted the 100,000 Jews who had been languishing in DP camps since the end of the war to emigrate, the gown accompanied Lilly across the ocean to America.  Unable to part with her dress, it lay at the bottom of her bedroom closet for the next 50 years, "not even good enough for a garage sale. I was happy when it found such a good home."
 
Home was the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. When Lily's niece, a volunteer, told museum officials about her aunt's dress, they immediately recognized its historical significance and displayed the gown in a specially designed showcase, guaranteed to preserve it for 500 years.
 
But Lilly Friedman's dress had one more journey to make. Bergen Belsen, the museum, opened its doors on October 28, 2007.  The German government invited Lilly and her sisters to be their guests for the grand opening. They initially declined, but finally traveled to Hanover the following year with their children, their grandchildren and extended families to view the extraordinary exhibit created for the wedding dress made from a parachute.
 
Lilly's family, who were all familiar with the stories about the wedding in Celle, were eager to visit the synagogue.  They found the building had been completely renovated and modernized.  But when they pulled aside the handsome curtain they were astounded to find that the Aron Kodesh, made from a kitchen cabinet, had remained untouched as a testament to the profound faith of the survivors.  As Lilly stood on the bimah once again she beckoned to her granddaughter, Jackie, to stand beside her where she was once a kallah.  "It was an emotional trip.  We cried a lot."
 
Two weeks later, the woman who had once stood trembling before the selective eyes of the infamous Dr. Josef Mengele returned home and witnessed the marriage of her granddaughter.
                                                                                                                  
The three Lax sisters – Lilly, Ilona and Eva, who together survived Auschwitz, a forced labor camp, a death march and Bergen Belsen – have remained close and today live within walking distance of each other in Brooklyn.  As mere teenagers, they managed to outwit and outlive a monstrous killing machine, then went on to marry, have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and were ultimately honored by the country that had earmarked them for extinction.
 
As young brides, they had stood underneath the chuppah and recited the blessings that their ancestors had been saying for thousands of years.  In doing so, they chose to honor the legacy of those who had perished by choosing life.



In Memorium

 In MEMORIAM – 63 YEARS LATER
It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended This            e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russian peoples looking the other way!
Now, more than ever, with Iran  and others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it's imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.
 

 

TAKE CARE-BE KIND

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May 05 2009

Posted by under Uncategorized

Marital humor

Marital Humor 

Wife:        ‘What are you doing?’   

Husband:    ‘Nothing’. 

Wife:        ‘Nothing..?  You’ve been reading our marriage   certificate  for over an hour!!’ 

Husband:     ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’   

———————————————– 

Wife :       ‘Do you want dinner?’   

Husband:    ‘Sure! What are my choices?’   

Wife:         ‘Yes or no.’     

—————————————-
 

Wife:      ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet..  Why?’ 

Hubby:      ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great it is, I look at your picture and the problem simply disappears.’   

Wife:       ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’ 

Hubby:    ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’   

—————————————– 
  

Stress Reliever Girl:      ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden.’    

Boy:      ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’   

Girl:      ‘Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.’ 

————————————— 

Son:      ‘Mommie, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to be polite and give up my seat to a lady.’   

Mom:   ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’   

Son:      ‘But mommie, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’   

————————————–

A newly married man asked his wife,     ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me that fortune?’   

  ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU THAT FORTUNE!’   

————————————-  

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever. 

The guy replies: ‘Thanks for the early warning.’ 

————————————-
 

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my cooking, my 
pretty face ……or my sexy body?’
   

He looked at her from head to toe, smiled, and replied: 
    ‘Well …….I REALLY like your sense of humor!’
   


(He’s now resting peacefully in an unmarked shallow grave behind the garage!)

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Mar 16 2009

Posted by under Humor

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

A REDNECK LOVE POEM
 

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,

SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY ‘BOUT IT ALL,

SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

 

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,

YOU’LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.

I’D JUST AS SOON YO’ MA DON’T KNOW,

BUT JOE IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

 

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE

AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.

BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,

HE SAID, ‘THERE’S TROUBLE STILL.’

YOU CAN’T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,

AND PLEASE DON’T TELL YO’ MOTHER.

BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO’

I KNOW IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

 
BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,

JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO’ HAPPY.

MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;

YOU AIN’T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

 

Brings a tear to yer eye, don’t it?

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