Archive for the Tag 'men'

Aug 01 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor

A Sensitive Man…

THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS. THE CLASS
WAS IN FULL SWING.

THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND
WAS TELLING THE MEN
HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE
OF THE PREGNANCY.
SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU. WALKING IS
ESPECIALLY BENEFICIAL.
IT STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC MUSCLES AND WILL MAKE DELIVERY THAT MUCH
EASIER!" SHE LOOKED
AT THE MEN IN THE ROOM, "AND GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER — YOU'RE IN THIS
TOGETHER — IT WOULDN'T
HURT YOU TO GO WALKING WITH HER." THE ROOM SUDDENLY GOT VERY QUIET
AS THE MEN ABSORBED
THIS INFORMATION.

THEN A MAN AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM SLOWLY RAISED HIS HAND. "YES?"
ANSWERED THE TEACHER.
"I WAS JUST WONDERING. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF SHE CARRIES A GOLF BAG
WHILE WE WALK?"

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Jul 31 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor

A Golf story

A Golf Story

Sam stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity.  He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing. Finally his exasperated partner asked, 'What in the world is taking so long?'  My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,' Sam explained.  'I want to make a perfect shot.'  His companion said, 'You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here.

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Jul 21 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

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Apr 13 2010

Posted by Grandson under Humor

Menopause Jewelry

Good enough I had to pass it along. LOL

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green.  When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.   Dumb ass.

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