Archive for the Tag 'old age'

Nov 03 2009

Posted by under Humor

a little humor

From the American Association Of Retired People

 

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy 
women who are interested 
in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? 
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that 
menopause is mentioned in 
the bible… Is that true? 
Where can it be

  found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  Egypt ."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 
year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

 
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with  short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?
 
 

 

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Oct 29 2009

Posted by under Humor

A beautiful message

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD:


 
 

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Shit …


 

 I forgot what it was….

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Sep 28 2008

Posted by under Humor

WILL I LIVE TO BE 100 ?

WILL I LIVE TO BE 100?

I recently turned 70 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was
doing ‘fairly well’ for my age.*

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist
asking him, ‘Do you think I will live to be 100?’

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic
 
beverages?

‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I don’t do drugs, either.’


‘Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?’
‘I said, ‘No, I usually stay home and keep to myself’.


‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
I said, ‘No, my other doctor said that all red meat is
unhealthy!’

‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
sailing, hiking or bicycling?’

‘No, I don’t,’ I said

‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’

‘No,’ I said ‘I don’t do any of those things.’

He looked at me and said, ‘Then why do you give a shit?

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