Archive for the Tag 'old timers'

Jul 21 2010

Posted by under Humor

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

THE MULE AND THE NAGGING WIFE

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

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Jul 10 2010

Posted by under Humor,Tests

Yearly Dementia Test

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory  compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.  Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.    
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
 
 

1. What do you put in a toaster?

 







Answer
: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.

 
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.  



2.
  Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?  


 

 

Answer
: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.  

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?  

 
 

 



Answer
: Greenhouses are made from glass.
 If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.


4
Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to  
Milford Haven in Wales    In London , 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9
people get on.
In
  Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford
Haven   ..  

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?


 

 

Answer
: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?

   It was YOU driving the bus!!


If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.


PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

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