Archive for the Tag 'parenting'

Nov 17 2008

Posted by under Humor

Why Parents Drink

A Mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to ‘Mom’ With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with hands and read the letter.
 
Dear Mom:


It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion…   Mom she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.


Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don’t worry Mom. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.


Love,


Your Son Paul


P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at Dustin’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.

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Jul 25 2008

Posted by under Humor

WHY PARENTS DRINK….

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but
had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with
one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone
number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. ‘ Hello ? ‘

‘Is your daddy home?’ he asked.

‘ Yes ,’ whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?’

The child whispered, ‘ No .’

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ‘Is your
Mommy there?’ ‘ Yes ‘

‘May I talk with her?’ Again the small voice whispered, ‘ No ‘

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, ‘Is anybody else there?’

‘ Yes ,’ whispered the child, ‘ a policeman. ‘

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss
asked, ‘May I speak with the policeman?’

‘ No, he’s busy , ‘ whispered the child.

‘Busy doing what?’

‘ Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ‘ came the whispered
answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through
the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, ‘What is that noise?’

‘ A helicopter ‘ answered the whispering voice.

‘What is going on there?’ demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,

‘ The search team just landed a helicopter ‘

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, ‘What are
they searching for?’

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…

‘ ME . ‘

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Jul 05 2008

Posted by under Humor,pictures

Mother’s Nightmare

So there I was . . Just relaxing in front of the TV…….. 

When the kids yelled,  ‘Hey Mom, come see the kittens!’

 

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