Archive for the Tag 'police'

Feb 04 2010

Posted by under Humor

DETROIT FARMS

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.     
 
Little Tyrone stood up and yelled:



 "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"

I guess there aren't many farms in Detroit
..    :

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Jul 13 2009

Posted by under Humor

Excuse Me !!!

This is undoubtedly the most expressive picture I’ve ever seen of an animal.   
You can almost hear him say these words; You want me to do what?? 
The look on this dog’s face  is priceless… i'm not smelling that!
 I’m not smellin’ those!

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May 27 2009

Posted by under Humor

Old people

No one believes old people . . . everyone thinks they’re senile.  

 
An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
They had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to
their old neighborhood after they retired.  Holding hands they
walked to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered,
and found the desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved I love you, Sally.
 On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.
There, she counted the money. Fifty-thousand dollars.
 Andy said, we've got to give it back.
Sally said, finders keepers.

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
 The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door.  They ask:  "Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
 Sally said,  "No."
 Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
 Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.  One says:
"Tell us the story from the beginning."
 Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday .  . "
 The FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here."

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Apr 01 2009

Posted by under Humor

GREAT SAYINGS BY POLICE OFFICERS

Great sayings by police officers

These 16 Police Comments were taken off police car videos   
around the country:
 
#16  "You know, stop lights don’t come any  redder
Than  the one you just went through."
 
#15  "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are  new,  
they’ll  stretch after you wear them a while."
 
#  14 "If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make  your Birth
certificate
 a worthless document."
 
#13  "If you run, you’ll only go to jail  tired."
 
#12  "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per  second,  
because  that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be  chasing you."
 
#11  "You don’t know how fast you were  going?  I guess that means
I  can write anything I want to on the ticket,  huh?"
 
#10  "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but  I don’t think
it  will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift  supervisor?"
 
#9  "Warning!  You want a  warning?  O.K., I’m warning you not  to  
do  that again, or I’ll give you another  ticket."
 
#8  "The answer to this last question will determine  whether you  
are  drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
 
#7  "Fair?  You want me to be  fair?  Listen, fair is a place  where  
you  go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn  dogs.
 
#6  "Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets  and my wife  
gets  a toaster oven.."
 
#5  "In God we trust, all others we run through  NCIC."
 
#4  "How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you say you  had?"
 
#3  "No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore.  We  used to,  
but  now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we  can."
 
#2  "I’m glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a  personal  
friend  of yours; you know someone who can post your  bail."  

          
            AND THE WINNER  IS…
#1  "You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets?
               You’re right, we don’t.  Sign  here."

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