Archive for the Tag 'Religion'

Jan 05 2010

Posted by under Humor,pictures,Religion

NEW CHURCH SIGNS

   Once you reach the bottom, do what it says………….

 It actually works!
 
New Church Signs


 
  





 
 



 



 Life is Hard

 
Afterlife is Harder!
 
 

 
 Love this next one
 

 
V
 
|
 
|
 
|
 
V
 
 ******
 


 
____________________
 
 
Please forward this to everyone you know and something
 Good will happen to you in the next hour…

Just watch and wait for it.

1 Comment »

Jun 29 2009

Posted by under Humor

Baptizing a drunk

Baptizing a Drunk

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven’t found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven’t found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again — – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
*
*
*
*
*

"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!

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Jun 28 2009

Posted by under Humor

Da end is near

Subject: ‘Da End is Near

Reverend  Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and  Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the  road.

They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the  ground, that read:
 ‘Da End is Near Turn Yo Sef ‘Roun Now Afore It Be Too Late!’

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and  yelled, ‘You religious nuts!’

From the curve they heard screeching tires, and a big splash…

Boudreaux turns to Thibodaux and asks, "Do ya tink mebbe da sign should jussay…..’Da Bridge is Out’ ?"

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May 12 2009

Posted by under Feel Good,pictures

A Kept Woman

A Kept Woman
                kept
  I Am a ‘Kept ‘ Woman
 
You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)
 
There were times when I thought I could go no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)
 
At times, I’ve wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa. 13)
 
Sometimes, I think the money just isn’t enough,
But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)
 
When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)
 
I could go on and on and on, but I’m sure you hear me!
I’m blessed to be ‘kept
 
Do you know a ‘kept ‘ woman?
If so pass it on to her to let her know she is ‘Kept
kept
I’m "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God

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