Rules are Rules…..Railroad Style…………..

Grandson — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:42:19 +0000

Rules are Rules…..Railroad Style…..

The Good news: It was a normal day in Sharon Springs , KS

when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train

for the long trek to Salina .

The Bad news: Just a few miles into the trip a wheel bearing became

overheated and melted, letting a metal support drop down and grind on the rail,

creating white hot molten metal droppings spewing down to the rail.

The Good news: A very alert crew noticed smoke about halfway back in the train

and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules.

The Bad news: The train stopped with the hot wheel over a wooden bridge

with creosote ties and trusses.

(In defense of the crew, according to Sixgun Jr., the crew tried to

‘splain to higher-ups, but were instructed not to move the damn train!)

RULES IS RULES!

(But, don’t let common sense get in the way of a good disaster!)

The Man Rules

Grandson — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 01:04:30 +0000

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story
( I must admit, it’s pretty good)

We always hear

‘the rules’
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!

Please note… they are all numbered ’1′ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ; We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really!

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them a bigger laugh.

E-Mail from Grandma » rules

Rules are Rules…..Railroad Style…………..

The Man Rules