Archive for the Tag 'sad but true'

Feb 08 2008

Posted by under Humor,Reality

I’m a parasite!!!

LOOK UP YOUR BIRTHDAY AND SEE WHAT YOU ARE.. FORWARD ON    TO PEOPLE THAT YOU  THINK THAT WOULD GET A KICK OUT OF THIS…INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO  YOU. PUT  YOUR BIRTHDAY ANIMAL IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND PASS IT  ON.

                        Don’t forget to scroll down to see what it says about you.

 

 January 01 – 09 ~   Ass

January 10 – 24 ~ Slug 

January 25 – 31 ~ Cockroach

 

February 01 – 05  ~ Parasite

February 06 – 14 ~   Bullfrog

February 15 – 21 ~   Skunk   

February 22 – 28 ~   Snake

 

March 01 – 12 ~   Ape

March 13 – 15 ~ Cockroach

March 16 – 23 ~   Slug

March 24 – 31 ~   Parasite

 

April 01 – 03 ~   Ass 

April 04 – 14 ~   Snake

April 15 – 26 ~   Slug  

April 27 – 30 ~   Skunk

 

May 01 – 13 ~   Slug

May 14 – 21 ~   Bullfrog

May 22 – 31 ~ Cockroach

 

June 01 – 03 ~   Slug

June 04 – 14 ~   Skunk

June 15 – 20 ~   Ass

June 21 – 24 ~ Ape

June 25 – 30 ~   Parasite

 

July 01 – 09 ~   Slug

July 10 – 15 ~   Ass

July 16 – 26 ~   Bullfrog

July 27 – 31 ~   Parasite

 

August 01 – 15 ~   Ape

August 16 – 25 ~ Slug

August 26 – 31 ~   Skunk  

 

September 01 –  14 ~ Bullfrog

September 15 – 27 ~   Parasite

September 28 – 30 ~   Ass

 

October 01 – 15  ~ Ape

October 16 – 27 ~   Skunk  

October 28 – 31 ~   Snake

 

November 01 – 16  ~ Cockroach

November 17 – 30  ~ Parasite  

 

December 01 – 16  ~ Ass

December 17 – 25 ~   Ape

December 26 – 31 ~   Bullfrog

 

                       

                       

If you are a  Ass : A very loyal and  sweet person. Your loyalty can never be doubted. You are quite honest and  sincere when it comes to your attitude towards working. You are a very simple  person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains  the reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes.  If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed.  Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of dignified friends, all of  them being quality-personified.

                       

If you are a Slug: Always up to some  sort of a mischief! The mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute  and attractive to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person.  No wonder people seek for your company and look forward to include you for all  get-together’s. However, you are sensitive which is a drawback. People need to  select their words while talking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around and  play with words while dealing with you, it is enough to invite your wrath. God  bless the person then!

                       

If you are a Cockroach : Quite contradictory to your name, you  are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are  required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a  long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive  work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of  limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well, well… Hence some people  could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work  done. So be careful…..

                       

If you are a Parasite : An extremely  lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy, with a passion for quick wit. At times,  you prefer quietness. You love exploring various things and going into depth of  each thing. Under normal circumstances you’re cool but when given a reason to,  you are like a volcano waiting to erupt. You’re a fashion bird. People look  forward to you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along  freely but don’t like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy in your  company. You observe care in choosing your friends.

                       

If you are a   Skunk : You are near to  perfect and nice at heart. The examples of your kindness are always circulated  in groups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn’t like to retaliate even  to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to  talk behind one’s back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give,  give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in  return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical light is what  remains the best trait of you guys.

                       

If you are a  Bullfrog   : You symbolize a  very happy-go-lucky approach in life. Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or  cheerful, you remain unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You  are the leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their  times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites.  They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You are very methodical  and organized in your work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass you.  Beware, it is easy for you to fall in love….  

                       

If you are a  Snake  : You are  mysterious. You are someone who can handle pressure with ease, and can handle  any atmosphere without going berserk. You can be mean at times, and love to  gossip with your selected group. Very prim and proper. You like all situations  and things to be in the way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a  result, you may lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help  people out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.

                       

If  you are a Ape : Very impatient and  hyper!!! You want things to be done as quick as possible. At heart, you are  quite simple and love if you are the center of attraction. That way, you people  are unique. You would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your  name be dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all  panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning. When you  foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from falling in  traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!

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Feb 01 2008

Posted by under Humor,Reality

A Truly Touching Story

 

In 1986, Mikele Mebembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mikele approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.  As carefully and as gently as he could, Mikele worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.  Mikele stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.  Mikele never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mikele was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mikele and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mikele, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mikele couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mikele summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walk ed right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mikele’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.  Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

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Jan 21 2008

Posted by under Reality

2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had
syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates. Who would you vote for?

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist.
He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in
college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C

He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Decide first… no peeking, then scroll down for the response.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:

If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading..

Remember:

Amateurs…built the ark.
Professionals…built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more
than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year…

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to
keep the rest of us in line.

You gotta pass this on….2 TOUGH QUESTIONS

 

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Jan 19 2008

Posted by under Humor

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

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