Archive for the Tag 'stereotypes'

Jul 15 2008

Posted by under Humor

CIA JOB INTERVIEW….

CIA Job Interview

The CIA had an opening for an assassin...

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there
were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.
                        
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.
'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances.  Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a
chair...  kill  her!!

The man said, 'You can't be serious.  I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job.  Take your
wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room.  All was quiet for about 5
minutes.  The man came out with tears in his eyes.
'I tried, but I
 can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don' have what it takes.  Take your wife
home.'

Then it was the woman's turn...
She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.  She took the
gun and went into the room.  Shots were heard, one after another.  They
heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.  After a few minutes,
all was quiet.  The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping
the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks,' she said.  'I had to beat him to
death
with the chair.'
                      
                        MORAL:                    
                        Women are crazy.
                        Don't mess with them. 

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Jul 10 2008

Posted by under Humor

OBSESSIONS….

Subject: Obsessions….

A psychiatrist was conducting a group the rapy session
with four young
mothers and their small children. “You all have
obsessions,” he observed.

To the first mother, Mary: ‘You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even
named your daughter Candy.’
‘He turned to the second Mom, Ann: ‘Your
obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name,
Penny.’

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: ‘Your obsession is
alcohol. This too
shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy.’

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got
up, took her little
boy by the hand and whispered, ‘Come on, Dick, we’re
leaving.”

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Jun 29 2008

Posted by under Humor

BITCHOLOGY

BITCHOLOGY

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own
way, they call me a bitch..

Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am
defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone’s maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who
I truly
am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I
‘should’ be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and
there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash
every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won’t succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B – Babe
I – In
T – Total
C – Control of
H – Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

Send this to 5 women to put a smile on their face!!
‘If you can’t do something right, get a woman to do it.’

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Jun 23 2008

Posted by under Humor,Reality

P M S

                                 

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE

 


 THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH & HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS!  THIS IS A HANDY GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER’S LICENSE IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

 

 

DANGEROUS:

SAFER:

SAFEST:

ULTRA SAFE:

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?

HERE, HAVE
SOME WINE.

ARE YOU
WEARING THAT?

WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!

WOW!
LOOK AT YOU!

HERE, HAVE
SOME WINE.

WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?

COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?

HERE’S MY PAYCHECK.

HERE, HAVE
SOME WINE.

SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.

CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?

HERE, HAVE
SOME WINE.

WHAT DID
YOU DO

ALL DAY?

I HOPE YOU DIDN’T OVER-DO IT TODAY.

I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!

HERE, HAVE
SOME MORE

WINE.

 

13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
 
1. PASS MY SHOTGUN

2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING

3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE

4. PUFFY MID-SECTION

5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK

6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS

7. PARDON MY SOBBING

8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE

9.. PASS MY SWEATS

10. PISSY MOOD SYNDROME

11. POOR MEN SUCK

12. PACK MY STUFF
 
 & MY FAVORITE ONE
  13. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT

PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR HORMONAL FRIENDS
& THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A GOOD LAUGH!!
   
…OR MEN WHO MAY NEED WARNING!!

 

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