Mar 02 2008
Only in America ……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters .
Only in America …..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
Only in America ……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ….
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why— isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why— didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why— do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ?
You— know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why— don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why— don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why— are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If— con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If— flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)…in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while ‘Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways .. half a bottle of vodka in one hand … a fat cigar in the other … a body thoroughly used up and totally worn out … and screaming; ‘whooooohooooo what a ride’!’