Archive for the Tag 'you might be a redneck'

Mar 27 2009

Posted by under Humor

THE GORILLA AND THE REDNECK !!!!!

A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals’ cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don’t want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

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Mar 16 2009

Posted by under Humor

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

A REDNECK LOVE POEM
 

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,

SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY ‘BOUT IT ALL,

SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

 

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,

YOU’LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.

I’D JUST AS SOON YO’ MA DON’T KNOW,

BUT JOE IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

 

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE

AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.

BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,

HE SAID, ‘THERE’S TROUBLE STILL.’

YOU CAN’T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,

AND PLEASE DON’T TELL YO’ MOTHER.

BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO’

I KNOW IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.

 
BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,

JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO’ HAPPY.

MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;

YOU AIN’T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

 

Brings a tear to yer eye, don’t it?

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